"Good-Bye"

I have found that groups that I have formed personal relationships the most difficult for me to adjourn.  This year, I finally made the decision to change my son's school.  We use to have a 45 minute commute to school and church; but I found a church and school (same religious affiliation and curriculum guide lines) that shortens our commute to no more than 15 minutes.  I have contemplated this transition for the last three years.  Each year I decided against it for fear of how it may affect my son and his behavior.  My son has not yet totally accepted the break up between my husband (his father) and me.  Although the commute was extremely difficult for me; I felt guilty, and somewhat responsible, for putting my son through another transition with such a consequence and possibility of negative disruption in his daily lifestyle.

My son has gone back and forth with is feelings about leaving his old school.  He likes the new school; but he misses his friends.  I miss our old friends also.  Our kids have been in school together since kindergarten.  I have coached on the boys athletic staff for four years.  I served on several boards and was a member of other social entities at school and church.  I am not nearly as active at the new school. 

I chose to leave our formal school without giving a notice because I did not want to deal with the questions and the good-byes.  I was shocked when so many of our friends and families contacted us because they miss us as well.  We have not changed our membership from our church as of yet; but I know that it makes sense to do it and get it over with unless we are going back.  I do not have any closing rituals.  Even in my daycare, when we have a family that has to leave; if I am really close to them, I stay away from the daycare in order to avoid saying good-bye.  I typically call them later and check on them and send a gift.  Maybe that is my ritual…avoid saying the words, feeling the feelings, and crying the tears.  To my current colleagues, it’s never good-bye, just “Until we meet again”!