“Effective Means of Communicating”

This week’s blog encourages us to think of any disagreements, or conflicts, we may have had recently experienced, or currently experiencing, at work with a supervisor or colleague, or someone in your personal life.  Then share two strategies that may help to resolve the conflict in a productive manner.  I am choosing to focus on a current personal issue that I am having some issues with.  My reason for sharing this particular issue is because it is truly an area of my life that I need some assistance with.  I tend to not care, or display a very nonchalant demeanor, when it comes to things or people that do not make a difference in how my son and I live our lives.  This attitude may be the reason that I am still living a single life in my older age.  I have absolutely no tolerance for adult issues unless it involves my career.

I have recently decided to try a long distance relationship with someone that I have known for 20+ years.  We have found that this has its’ advantages and disadvantages.  While it is great to know a person from a family perspective; it is challenging to mix the family with the intimate relationship.  Our communication climate strongly predicts that of uncertainty and defensive climates.  The uncertain climate is largely possessed initial awkwardness, expectations, and potential outcome.  Neither of us wants to damage the family-like relationship that we have had for so many years and our setting clear expectations under these circumstances is extremely difficult at times.  The defensive climate comes from past situations that we have witnessed, involving other people, throughout our relationship.  The suspicion of whether or not the outcomes will repeat themselves is very high.  Typically, I think there is an unconscious need, on behalf of the other person, to control the relationship.

Two strategies that I think would help to produce a more supportive climate would be:

                      1. Be more open-minded

                      2. Giving the benefit of the doubt

In order to reach these two goals, I think that it would be effective to try a more compromising style or a collaborating style for resolution.  If we learn to compromise, then we could find some sort of “middle ground” whereas, each of us is happy with the outcome.  By utilizing the collaborating style to resolve conflicts we are forced to focus on the issues without attacking one another.  Then probe for more information that will help to understand the other ones viewpoints.  Once this has been accomplished, then it should be easier to focus on each other’s needs rather than our short comings.

Upon analyzing this situation, feel free to offer any suggestions that you may have that will either encourage the likes of this relationship; or reasons why you think that it would be unhealthy and an utter waste of time.