“Me as a Communicator”

We all have different communication styles and skills, knowingly and unknowingly.  How these means of communication may be different or similar in accordance to our environments and cultures is when things get interesting…

I took the test on:  Communication Anxiety Inventory, Verbal Aggressiveness Scale, and Listening Styles Profile.  I also had a long-term friend and a co-worker to evaluate me with the same three tests.  The one thing that surprised me the most is how close the results were.

My Results:                Myself             Spouse            Friend                  Co-Worker

Communication               36                    36                    35                             36

Verbal                              65                    69                    71                             70

Listening                     Group 1             Group 1         Group 1                     Group 1
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When I read the results that were presented after I took the test, I felt that they were spot on for me.  Typically I think that we view ourselves differently than others because we are not always honest with whom we really are or we don’t know, ourselves, who we are as individuals.  But seeing that others view me just as I view myself was very unnerving for me.  I have worked very hard at getting to know myself over the years and excepting some truths about myself that I never want to accept.  It just shows that I have grown and I am making progress with being true to who I am.

Two insights that I have gained in this week’s resources that may inform my professional and personal life is the practice of listening and the concept of being honest.  I have more recently been told that I listen very well.  I take that as a huge compliment because I have not always been able to do that.  Had I been a better listener, some light years ago, I may have never either gotten married or divorced.   One of the two would definitely not have taken place.  I use to feel as if I had something to say and it was the only thing that mattered.  Saying that “out loud” sounds ridiculous; but some people say it with their “inside voice” (where no one can hear or judge), all of the time.  Being able to listen has softened my heart and allowed me the opportunity to learn more about others and their cultures.  I think this is a valuable tool when working with children and their families.

The other piece to this, for me, is honesty.  Sometimes we have to face some ugly truths about ourselves.  Once we do this, I think we are given a second chance to correct the ugliness.  Whether we decide to take the second chance or not is up to us.  Getting results that basically placed me in the same categories (according to the results) with different associates in my life, has proven to me that I am fair and I treat everyone the same, which is from my heart.  Although I may communicate with them differently, due to my relationships with them, I still treat everyone with equal respect.  I am grateful for that because it proves that I am sincere and care about how I treat others.